Facebook

I invented the first cyber community with Al Gore. Our community included me, him, and this guy who called himself Shirley (one of Tipper's pot smoking buddies from college). anyhow, I take most of the credit privately. Now it seems cyber communities are popping up everywhere and nearly everyone, despite initial insecurities of age and ego, has joined.

I joined facebook about 2 years ago, a virtual community like myspace where you try to tally as many friends as you can and write something witty about yourself while sharing with everyone your tastes in pop culture. My initial profile entries doomed me from the start. I was editing what made me ME by considering my peers opinions of MY tastes of films and music. It was like I didn't learn anything from my early to mid 20s when i was single and I actually made it a goal to get laid. A disastrous pursuit that entailed extreme self makeovers to keep up with the hip scenes where the hot girls hung out. Lame. And difficult without the laissez faire attitude that clung to my aura in college. damn i was an original pimp then.

Joining and interacting within a virtual community is a typical past-time of the younger generation, but my induction to facebook brought a sense of embarrassment, self inflicted by immediately being a poser as described above. I'm too old to be man posturing in cyberspace, showing the world my 'profile.' To make matters worse, the only friends I had were years younger than me and had the benefit of a college undergrad frat house scene to shield them from ridicule. they were already self-secure posers (sorry little bro). I, on the other hand, felt like I was emitting the "lonely and pathetic" vibe and didn't feel comfortable adhering to my inclination to connect. mind you, i persevered this adversity so as not to pass up the chance to check out all my little brother's hot friends. But regardless of those immediate benefits i felt as if I didn't belong (despite having come up with the whole concept in the first place).

Why? I think it's an age thing. I never thought I would make the conventional transition from young to old, democrat to republican, Gandhi to Napoleon, selfless to selfish, elfless to elfish. Was I resistant to change and indignant to idealists like so many people I defied in my younger years? Is this my awakening? My rite of passage? what a shitty one. All of a sudden I felt as if I had to deny myself the connection to people that I longed for as a result of my age. I was becoming a real poser. Easy E is rolling in his grave singing "ain't nothing in life but to be legit." Didn't sociology teach us that the need for interaction is at the core of human instinct?

After a while, many of the friends I had made throughout my life started popping up on Facebook. An Aussie and an Israeli I met in India; a skater who gave me my first board from Portland; old girlfriends, high school friends, college friends. I wasn't alone after all. I could stop being so fatalistic and comfortably start being real. I wasn't becoming a fiscal conservative afterall, I just needed a community, my community, to provide some support.
And yes, i still like to check out hotties and accumulate as many friends as possible to look popular, but i did change my profile to a more honest portrayal of me and I now love it for the reasons I should. Connection. That's what it was all about in the beginnning when it was just me, Al, and Shirley. I miss you Shirley, wherever you are.

Jean-Claude Van Damme

the movie, "Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo" It was 1984 and Jean Claude was in spandex. He showed up as an extra when turbo and ramone were doing their thing on the Venice boardwalk. I SAW HIM FIRST and thought "he's gonna be big." hmm? who's right again?

Global Warming

It was I who first discovered global warming. and i was the first to say "Global warming is a fraud." and i'm also the first person to not believe myself.

Bud Bowl- Steve's creation

My friend Steve was the first to come up with the Bud Bowl, but gets no credit from his former employer Budweiser.

Visionary tales part 1

i heard Dave Matthews before anybody else (ANYBODY).